The Start of a New Journey...

I have recently started reading the book, "One Thousand Gifts" By Ann Voskamp. I have felt very convicted to look for the blessings in my own daily life. Life can be hard but without faith, life is impossible. Without thankfulness, faith is impossible. Have you ever given someone a gift and they don't show any sort of gratitude towards you? How did you feel? Did you feel as if the gift was truly given? How do you think God feels when He has given us the greatest gift of all and we consistently fail to show complete thankfulness? Hmmm... these are the thoughts that got me thinking. Today marks the start of a new beginning for me. My journey will be hard but rewarding. My goal is look for blessings in every circumstance. No matter how hard life gets, I will keep writing my list of blessings. I may not post all of my list on here but I wanted to share my journey with you. The Start of One Thousand Gifts... 1. Air that fills my lungs with refreshing breath 2. Wind on my face 3. The joy found in forgiveness 4. Colorful soap bubbles washing away grim 5. Raindrops sliding down the window 6. Hugs from those I love most 7. Brown packages in the mail 8. Band-aids that help heal 9. Feet to dance with 10. A voice to sing and share my thoughts I will stop there for now... My prayer for each reader today is that you too will begin to find the gifts that God is using to fill your day...

Lunch Money

It's been a while since I last wrote. I want to get out of that habit. This story has been on my mind today...

I am student teaching in a second grade classroom. There is this particular student who has been on my heart since the first day. She is small and very cheerful. But behind the smiles there is some sort of sadness...

My second day teaching in this classroom I watched as the students put their lunches on their desks for them to quickly grab after recess. I watched this particular student as she placed a small granola bar on her desk. I walked over and asked if she had more for lunch. "No, but I will be fine!" was her simple reply as she ran off for recess. I started paying closer attention over the next few days as this child placed her "lunch" on her desk each day. One day, a bag of chips. Another day, a swiss roll. The next day, half a peanut butter sandwich. Daily I would send her to the office to ask for more food. Daily I would offer this child an apple from my lunch. My heart slowly started breaking as I watched this child's eyes as other students were placing filled lunch bags on their tables. Complete embarrassment and sadness.

We started receiving notices that this child would no longer be receiving extra food from the school due to a negative balance in her account. How could this be! This child is already as skinny as can be and comes to school hungry daily! I decided to do something about this. I walked to the office and asked the secretary why my student was no longer going to receive help with her lunch. My heart broke when I learned that the parents of my student refused to apply for the lunch program for needy families. They were ashamed that they couldn't pay for lunches.

My heart was heavy. "Lord, I can hardly afford gas each week for my brand new car when this family can't even afford to pay for lunch." I wrote a check today to feed this child for the rest of the school year.

I didn't write this to receive praise or attention. I wrote this because I realized today that hunger exists all around us. I wrote this because I realized how selfish I am and how often I walk right past someone in need. I feel ashamed for the number of times I have stuffed my face at a restaurant and complained for feeling too full. I have been called to pour Christ's love into others because He first loved me.

Falling on my knees...

Sometimes we come to that crossroad where we must make a choice. A choice that is hard to make. Especially when we have been blinded by sin. We must make the choice of letting go and letting God. Why is it so easy for me to hold onto the stress of life? Why is it so hard for me to let God be in control? Have I really become a control freak? There comes a time in life when one must fall to their knees. Out of weakness. Out of exhaustion. Out of a desperate need for someone else to be control. Out of the need for the Lord to be in charge. It's hard to fall on my knees. It's hard to admit to my struggles and stress of life. But it is also humbling. I have come to that crossroad...

Sometimes we come to that crossroad... where we must let go... where we must fall and let someone else carry our burdens. And us. It was then that there was only one set of footprints in the sand...

Stumbling

My heart broke as I watched the effects of sin take place in the world. I was sitting at a red light down town when I noticed a man standing at the corner. He was holding a sign that said “Homeless and hungry.” I noticed him shaking. At first I thought that it was because of the winter weather. It was a very windy and snowy morning. But as I watched him, I realized that it wasn’t the winter weather making him shake, it was because he was drunk. He began swaying back and forth while holding his sign across his chest for the passing cars to see. As the light prepared to change to green, this man fell into the middle of the street. All of the drivers sat in their cars uncertain of what to do. Did someone need to help him up? A few seconds after he fell, he stumbled back onto his feet. He waved his hand as if to say, "Don't worry about me. I will be fine." I sat there staring at him. Where was his family? What was his past like? What choices or circumstances brought him to this point? Then it struck me... God loves that man. God created him with a purpose. Did this man know that he was created for a reason?

Sin. It causes us to stumble. And how many times do we get up by ourselves after we stumble? We need to learn to be open and ask for help. When we fall... we need to grasp the Lord's hand and allow Him to pull us back up.

Why did I just sit in my warm car and stare at that man? Why didn't I jump out and help him? I didn't I spend those few moments in prayer for him like I should have. Instead, I sat there judging him. Maybe it's time for me to look at what causes me to stumble instead of wondering about others.

Lord, help me to be a blessing to someone today...

J-O-Y

Joy. Jesus Others You. Sounds simple right? Well... it should be. But for some reason I get the letters mixed up. I always tend to focus on pleasing others... meeting their needs. When I see someone hurting I begin hurting for them. When I see someone with a problem I want more than anything to fix it for them. Then I begin focusing on myself. I begin thinking of ways to please others so that I look "good." I am a people pleaser. Not that there is anything wrong with being a people pleaser but I have allowed it to consume me. I get so wrapped up in pleasing others that I put Christ on the back burner. Others don't suffer... I do. In the end I am putting myself first. Y-O-J. I am living a backwards life...

How do I change this? Before anything else... I need to put Jesus first. I need to let Him lead the way. Sometimes this can be so hard... but so rewarding.

Busy Busy Busy

Busy. The 4 letter word that not only describes my life but consumes it. Why? Is it because I enjoy being productive? Is it because I enjoy a fast paced life? While I do enjoy being productive I do not enjoy living a fast paced life. I would do anything for a day without lists, work to do, things to accomplish. I would love to have an entire day to rest. Breathe. Enjoy the life around me. Have I tried this? Yes. Numerous times. But it doesn't work. Because as soon as I find a day to rest... I end up doing something productive. I find myself thinking of everything that I need to accomplish. I decided that a whole day might be unrealistic during this time of my life. Instead ofan entire day, I decided that a few minutes each day would be a good start. So the purpose of this blog is to allow myself to take a few minutes now and then to rest. To breathe. To do something I love.... write...